Nightlock Pill

It's never been this hard, the day that passed without you.

I listened to the playlist that I secretly made for you as I walked across the street.

I don't know what makes it hard. What makes me move so slow.

Slower than ever.

I wish I would be okay, even without you.

But it suffocates me.

You said we are different.

You said you love your own company; you love yourself being alone.

I tried to understand. I did try.

And I accept it; I take all of the differences we had.

You make me happy.

You are worth my time.

But am I worth that much for you?

Or is it just me.

Should I stop even if it means I'll get hurt through the process—of living my life without you around me?

Or should I wait? 

But for how long exactly it is?

It's like I took the nightlock pill—I will still be dead either way.

Both choices hurt.

Both choices are hard.

If only you knew how much I love you.